HOW TO GET ALONG WITH YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW
Each woman chooses her own husband, based on her own ideas and sympathy. But together with her husband, she gets a mother-in-law, which can not be chosen in advance. It is necessary to establish communication and it is not always an easy task. For most women, confrontation with their mother-in-law is a usual thing.
Perfect relationship between a wife and mother-in-law is a rare exception. However, you can try to avoid a negative consequences if you follow some tips.
Live separately
This advice is given by all psychologists who insist on the mandatory presence of a young family's own territory. In this case, it will be much easier to establish a good relationship with your mother-in-law. Fewer contacts and interventions in the couple's life, usually in good intentions, can allow young people to make their own independent decisions. In general, no one should interfere in the lives of other people, allowing them to have their own personal space.
There are certain disadvantages to living apart,but maintaining a family is a priority. And, if the relationship with the mother-in-law is unbearable, you should consider living in rented housing.
If a daughter-in-law found understanding, and their relationship is built on the principles of relations of the daughter and mother, moving to different apartments wouldn't be required. But there are very few cases in practice.
Showing respect
The perfect option is a sincere love for your mother-in-law. But not all the women can do it. Then you should show maximum respect for your spouse's mother, without departing from this principle under any circumstances. Your mother-in-law gave birth and brought up your husband, so she deserves gratitude and respect. Understand that all actions of the mother-in-law are caused only by love for her own son – your spouse.
All advice given by the mother-in-law should not be reacted with obvious discontent. It is better to discuss the proposal, point out possible contradictions with your family views. In a respectful conversation, you can achieve amazing results.
Modest behavior
Do not dress too bright and provocatively, if you have a meeting with your mother-in-law. Makeup shouldn't be bright. Don't wear too much jewelry. Modesty during a conversation, supplemented by similar attire, will be an excellent basis for building a trusting relationship with your mother-in-law.
Showing signs of attention
Do not forget to congratulate your mother-in-law with all memorable dates and holidays. Also you should definitely come personally on her Birthday. Coming to visit without a reason, you can make small surprises that are extremely pleasant for the older generation.
If you have any problems, you can contact your mother-in-law for advice. You don't have to follow them, but you have to ask. Also offer your help in any matter. Ana again, it doesn't matter if the mother-in-law uses your help it or not.
Sometimes you should just communicate with your mother-in-law, telling her about your own life. Personal and intimate topics are better omitted.
Accept help
With her advice and instructions, the mother-in-law tries not to fall out of her son's life, trying to be useful to him. This desire needs to be slightly corrected in the direction you need. Accept her offers of help she wants to play with your children or look after your home while you are away. You will win with your mother-in-law.
If the mother-in-law is a good cook, nothing prevents you from learning this art, having mastered some delicious recipes. As you chose her son, the mother-in-law knows how to raise children. Therefore, do not hesitate to ask about parenting methods, applying something to your own children.
Give her to feel personal importance.
It is necessary to create an environment in which the mother-in-law would feel their own importance. Don't tell her how to behave. Don't argue with your mother-in-law, let her talk about her problems. Do not stand on the side of your husband and mother-in-law during a dispute. It is better to be neutral, allowing them to figure it out on their own. And personal relations with your spouse must be clarified without outsiders, including your mother-in-law.
Sense of responsibility as a wife
It is necessary to be a great wife for your husband. so your mother-in-law can understand that her son is in good hands. She will immediately appreciate your efforts, seeing a happy and neat son. In case of further nagging, your spouse will always stand up for his wife.
It is not easy to become a perfect wife, but your efforts will not remain without reward. The mother-in-law, observing your attempts, will provide the necessary support. In this matter, it is only important to show that all decisions in the family are made together with the husband. Your personal decision of issues will automatically lead to a negative attitude of your mother-in-law.
Be patient
In all difficult situations that occur in the relationship with the mother-in-law, you must remain patient and avoid breakdowns. Even not quite adequate behavior of the mother-in-law should be skipped if it does not continue constantly.
To maintain a normal relationship with your mother-in-law, you should follow these rules, while showing diplomatic skill. This task should be interesting for a real purposeful woman who cares about her family.
